Waiting

I have been sitting here looking through my window
waiting for you to show up
Its been a while, and it seems like you don't even care
or maybe its just that you don't even know
that am sitting here by this window
waiting for you...

So many people walking through this lane
some give me a sad smile, some perplexed
few glare with utter disgust,
and few barely care...

Days gone by, so have nights
Months and years, still no sign!

The frosty winter came battering down the window panes
trying to battle the fire within me.
But I survived the cold
reminiscing warm summer breeze and the sweet fragrance in the air,
blooming cherry orchards and us holding each other in our arms!
And when the flowers bloomed and the birds chirruped
I sat near the window smiling to myself
thinking about all those silly things you said to me
And when I felt lonely and wistful
the rain poured in,
pitter pattering on my windowsill
it soaked my face, hid my tears
and washed away the hurt in my heart.

And yes, its been a while, a while indeed
that I 've been sitting here looking through my window
waiting for you to show up

Lets just whine

This is a brand new day
tomorrow of yesterday
yesterday of tomorrow
Its Today.
Its one of those days when I am supposed to make difference in my life
But like always it started with a fight
Me versus my alarm
When I moved my feet to step out of the bed
I cursed at the first gush of the cold wind that passed through my bare legs
As much as I hated to leave my warm cocoon
I ended up giving in anyway.
Brushing my teeth in half sleeping half awake mode
I slipped my brush and scratched my gums leaving it sore
Damn! I cried
And thought
Oh, well
Heres the start of another shitty day yet again!
I need to be positive
Spread the positivity around me
so when I looked in the mirror to wash my face
I grinned at my own reflection,
Swear to god that was meaning less.
My mom, like everybody else's mom/wife/husband or everybody's somebody
yelled on top of her voice, "Have you eaten your breakfast yet?"
I muttered, "Screw the breakfast Mom I am already running late."
Rush, the street is full of rush
Men and women flooding the streets
I can smell some hidden agenda behind their rush
But who cares?
My boss is pissed,
maybe his wife demanded new jewelry or something else
or maybe he found out she is having an affair
well thats their business
but unlike me he has decided to bring it to the work anyway
so 1st thing he does is respond to my Good Morning
by shouting at me, " Is this your Mamaghar?"
Inside me theres a volcano ready to erupt
but I politely apolozise for my unknown error
And walk towards my cubicle in the corner
The place where I make all the dreams come true
well not exactly...
I look at my pending files
it drives me insane
I wonder, "What am i doing here?"
Is this what I really want?
A voice within replies, " What you want is not important, the paycheck is."
Hell it is, I say.
Unwillingly I start to work
In my head although I keep thinking
only if I could change my job, only if i could do what I really want.
When suddenly, my supervisor's shrill voice barge in
Is this what you call working?
Confused and irritated I try not to roll my eyes at him
I mean, I know he is my supervisor and all
but hey, I know my job
Is it really necessary to keep barging in like that?
But I guess he needs to show off
so he will keep doing that anyway
So never mind him, he is an arse, I say
Guess, the only way to console myself....

Some Love

I don't know why I wrote this but I wrote it and thought to myself, maybe I should share it ;P

I drink from your eyes
and I live by the mercy of your grace
I thrive with your beauty
Your innocence enrich my desires
I dance to the rythm of your bosom
when you breathe in and breathe out

Dreams

I have been reading some beautiful poetry and I came across this short yet powerful poem by Langston Hughes.
Dreams

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow. 

Unexpected yet awesome!

So it all started with an unexpected plan for the New Year’s celebrations! Me and my best friends planning to spend some time together away from the hustle and bustle of this crazy K-town.  

Undecided destination and shortage of vehicles at the starting of the trip was a bit frustrating. However struggling through all the difficulties we finally were able to make our way to much loved place Sauraha.

We reached Sauraha really late but we were happy and excited never the less. As soon as we checked in we fell asleep only to wake up to the warm and wonderful morning next day.  Something inside made us feel that it was going to be a beautiful day ahead.

The 1^st thing we decided to do to start our wonderful holiday was by having lunch! We all were starving after going to bed without any dinner.  And after having a hearty meal we headed towards the clam river bank of Rapti river.

The simplicity of the river bank and the vast jungle on the other side was a splendor in itself. Sitting by the river side and consuming the nature at its glory felt like loosing ourselves in the soothing tranquility of meditation!

 All day long we sat by the calm river side of Rapti, sipping chilled beer under the warm sun. It was good to get away from the chilling temperature of Kathmandu to warm sun of Sauraha. Enjoying the peaceful environment and praising the nature was blissful! Laughing out with friends on stupid jokes or simply enjoying the canoe ride on the river or making impressions on sand and giggling like kids was silly yet it worked as some exotic spa or detoxifying method.

Watching the awesome sunset, the changing colors of skylines, getting mellow and coming up with beautiful lines for poems or simply staring at those people around us who were equally having fun, enjoying the moment and the views was merry enough to make us feel that there couldn't be any place better than this. 

We spend so many days not being able to appreciate what life/nature has to offer. We seldom find time to adore the beauty of this earth but finally being there and sinking into the powerful grip of nature was simply refreshing! Thinking about our hectic life but being glad that we made it so far and the hopes of going out on similar vacations in future made us feel so positive about life that I almost started to think that my life was perfect. I never have had any problems, I am happy; I always was and always will be! To find that inner peace was so divine, that for a moment I started to wish only this moment would never end. 

But end is inevitable, whether it is good or bad, the end is sure to come. So, after watching the sunset and having our dinner we headed off to our hotel room. As we were leaving early for k-town the other day we decided to go to the bed early. But when we reached our hotel we were informed that there was going to be a strike and no bus will be leaving tomorrow! Limited budget and no approved leaves remaining at work made us feel little stressed. But since we didn’t want to spoil the positive vibes we had felt that day we went to bed praying that the strike be cancelled by tomorrow.

On the 1st Jan 012 we woke up greeting each other a very Happy New Year. Feeling energized and happy about the trip we packed our bags and were ready to leave. But much to our dismay we were informed that there was a strike going on and we can’t leave. We argued that we were tourist and tourist buses were not hampered by the strikes as per the government policy. To our amazement we were told that only foreigners were considered in such situations. If any local tourists are seen in the bus, they will be asked to step down from the bus! WTH? Local tourism plays such a vital role in tourism yet we are treated like shit by our own people? This was so wrong. 

Although we were disappointed and furious at the situation there was nothing much we could do. So, letting it not ruin our spirits we decided to have fun anyway. So after having breakfast we started walking around the town. The heaviness within started to fade away when we started to crack jokes and laugh out so loud that people would stare at us as if we were bunch of freaks. Then we hired bicycles and started to enjoy the ride around the town. But before noon we were informed that the strike was cancelled and we were to take our bus by 12 noon as the tickets were already booked for the bus. With heavy heart we bid our goodbye to Sauraha.

It was a very unexpected yet awesome getaway! There were plenty of downers in this trip but I think those situations made it all the more special because with them memories were created!

Sauraha is a simple tourist destination but divine in its own way. I am so happy that I went to this place and spent few hours in peace. It gave me much needed calmness and strength. It gave me an opportunity to learn that you could get hit with so many disappointments and difficulties in life but the key to achievement is not letting those hurdles hold us behind.

A year ended and a new year has begun, similarly a phase of my life has ended and a new phase has begun. This phase is where I will be stronger and cherish each moments I get to live and never give up. Most importantly I have started to realize the importance of each and everyday! We get to live each day only once. Each day has its own way; there will be different situations and different ways for us to handle it. But the only right thing to do is to live each day to the fullest, be happy and appreciate the moments and not waste a single minute of our life being disappointed or sad.

I hope we all have fabulous year 2012!